I'm 20 weeks pregnant! I am thrilled to have reached the halfway point. I feel like this is the point when I should start enjoying being pregnant. So far things have been pretty unpleasant (what with all the sickness and exhaustion) so I'm looking forward to the days where I feel well enough to sit back and be happy.
Don't get me wrong, I'm really happy and excited to be having a baby but I'm not enjoying pregnancy. I want to be one of those women who fully embraces the body changes and talks to her belly all the time. I just feel fat, my boobs hurt, my belly is itchy from the skin stretching and talking to my belly seems really strange to me right now.
The one thing I have been doing is increasing my time playing music. I've been playing my piano more and singing a lot more so the baby learns to love music from the moment he/she starts to hear. I'm the only really musical person in my family so I'm very much hoping that my child takes to music and we can play together!
As I round the bend into the last half of this pregnancy, I've started to prepare myself for the changes ahead. I've started thinking about what I want and need from this birth, what are my fears and what works for me to stay calm, relaxed and present? I've also started reading Birthing from Within. I'm not very far into it and I know it's still early to be getting fully prepared for birth but what I want to start doing is getting myself into a different mindset where I can focus on the end result and do what's necessary to get through it. I tend to be the kind of person who crumbles under stress and I'm also prone to anxiety in situations where I feel I've lost control. I want to control this type of reaction and be prepared mentally for what's ahead (not just birth but also parenting). Birth (and parenting) is not something you can really control so I need to be confident going into that experience so I'm less likely to cave and have an anxiety attack while in labor.
Overall, I feel that this pregnancy is going well and I'm feeling excited about the little person who will be joining us in about 20 more weeks.